He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
