nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
