dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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