i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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