i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
