Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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