shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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