The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
