Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
