I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Vodka?
Forever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
