I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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