i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
