I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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