So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
