we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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