My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
only you would photoshop your dick
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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