i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
