guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
