i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
