We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
