If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
