every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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