Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
