dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
