I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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