R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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