During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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