I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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