Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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