I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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