My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
