Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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