I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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