Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
