the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
