I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
