I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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