the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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