operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
