I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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