Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
