i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
