roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
