Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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