when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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