So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he shaved USA in his pubs
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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