she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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