I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
