So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
