listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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