I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i believe in u and ur pee
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
