Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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