I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
