Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
