i think my tv is drunk
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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