He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This girl is more easily done than said...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
