Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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