Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
