Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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