some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize