I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
