I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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