There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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