Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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