I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
