The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
